A comfortable flight with good service can be a great start to a new adventure or the ideal end as I head home. But hidden costs, bad food, poor service and long delays or cancellations can just about ruin it all and make me hate the airline responsible. Here’s 10 things I hate about your airline.
1. Hidden extra costs
When you add it all up that cheap plane ticket wasn’t that cheap at all. Once you add the taxes that weren’t quoted, a fee to pay with a credit card, an extra charge for luggage, extra for food and extra for entertainment, then things aren’t as cheap as they seemed. In fact the bargain probably doesn’t save you much at all.
If you hide a raft of charges behind faux bargains, I hate your airline.
2. Excess baggage entrapment
Many airlines now routinely charge extra for check-in luggage and encourage passengers to travel light. When you apply strict rules about hand luggage can you give us a fighting chance? When there are scales in check in areas passengers have no excuse not to stay within the rules. Some airlines have no scales in the check in area then weigh your bag practically at the door of the plane when it’s way too late to ditch stuff. And they’re like “Ah ha! Your bag is 68 grams over the carry on limit. Gotcha!”
If you apply this mean spirited gotcha approach to hand luggage, I hate your airline.
3. Why aren’t the rules the same for everyone?
And while we’re on the subject of hand luggage, how about a bit off consistency in the way the rules are applied? If it’s one piece under 7 kilos then do it. Don’t harass me for having a backpack (which I know weighs precisely 6.2kgs with my camera, iPad and book because I weighed it on the scales next door at the good airline’s check in) while that woman wheeling a suitcase down the aisle while balancing four shopping bags and a huge pillow goes unchallenged. It’s not my backpack delaying departure while the cabin crew play a giant game of Tetris trying to slot suitcases into the overhead lockers.
If you can’t apply your own rules consistently, I hate your airline.
4. The incredible shrinking seat
Is it just me or do airline seats keep getting smaller? Forget cattle class, no bovine could ever fit in here. USA Today reported in 2017 the average seat pitch in US coach (economy) seats has definitely shrunk with discount airlines the worst offenders. This shrinking seat phenomenon has even raised safety concerns. Being shoehorned into a cramped seat with you knees in somone’s back – and someone else’s knees in your back – is never fun, especially when you’re stuck there for hours.
If you treat your passengers like sardines, I hate your airline.
5. Hello, Hello, is there anybody there?
I arrive at the airport. I check myself in at the self-serve kiosk. I print my own luggage tag. I stick the tag on the bag myself. I carry my bag to the conveyer belt myself and send it to the plane myself. Is there something missing here? Yeah, service. Is there anything else your customers can do for you?
If you can’t provide any decent ground service, I hate your airline.
6. The terrible timetable
Nobody wants to leave at midnight and arrive at 5am to wander bleary-eyed through a strange city until the hotel will let you in hours later. Nor does anyone want to fly hundreds of kilometres in the wrong direction and change planes at whoop whoop to get to where they actually want to go. Yet many budget airlines offer a choice between bad and worse when it comes to timetabling.
If you make me leave in the middle of the night and fly via the South Pole, I hate your airline.
7. ‘Operational’ cancellations
Do you have a crystal ball? How do you know now that the flight I have booked in six months will be unable to operate? Cancellations have to happen from time to time due to aircraft faults, crazy weather, volcanoes, strikes or other shit that just happens when you travel. Some airlines seem to be able to predict those problems months in advance, leaving me suspicious about the reason for the cancellation. It is just infuriating to book a flight then be told – after all the other flight dates I could have booked instead are now full or twice the price – that the service I purchased won’t be delivered after all.
If you take my money and don’t make every effort to provide the service I paid for, I hate your airline.
8. What? You want to fly home again?
Oh look, we’ve got an awesome sale on. You can fly away for $29. Awesome! Might seem so until you try to get back home again and find the return tickets on offer in that same sale are ridiculously expensive. You might end up not saving very much, if anything, at all. You may as well have bought a regular ticket on the full service airline and been done with it.
If you try to suck me in with sales that really save me nothing, I hate your airline.
9. Are we leaving yet?
I’m halfway to the airport and there’s an ominous buzz from my phone. It’s the dreaded text from the airline that I had a bad feeling would come. My flight has been delayed by four hours. But they’re ever so sorry for the inconvenience. Want to change to another flight? Well too bad, there aren’t any.
If you leave me with little confidence my flight will leave on time, or at all, I hate your airline.
10. It’s 7Eleven in the sky
In flight food in an economy cabin is never exactly haute cuisine. I don’t expect a gourmet hamper from Fortnum and Mason but I do expect better than the snack aisle at 7Eleven. Serving a stale egg sandwich in a plastic triangle or cup of instant noodles is beyond yuck. Not to mention the outrageous prices charged for awful food.
If you serve me foul food, and charge an arm and a leg extra for it, I hate your airline.